How DARE you, Super Bowl Halftime show?

During the Super Bowl, America didn't ask for much. Just an interesting game, with some funny new commercials, and a halftime show. A lot of people were expecting a great halftime show this year, given that the game was being held in Atlanta, a city overflowing with musical talent. Unfortunately, due to the league's treatment of a certain afro-ed quarterback, several of the top choices turned the opportunity down. That's how we ended up with Maroon 5.

Going into halftime, I was hoping for a redemption of this garbage pile of a game. Todd Gurley had 3 carries, Tom Brady had thrown 7-yard outs the whole time, and our pizza had gotten cold. The only solace we had to hope for was Sweet Victory.

Following Stephen Hillenburg's passing in late 2018, a petition began to circle asking for the iconic Bubble Bowl Halftime performance to be played during the show this year. It would have worked well as an intro going into Maroon 5's set, or they could have covered it (I might have complained still if they had). Going from random suggestion by the internet, the rumours started picking up steam. The Mercedes-Benz Stadium twitter account tweeted this GIF leading up to the game:

pic.twitter.com/fWjOat9VPE

— MercedesBenzStadium (@MBStadium) December 12, 2018

Then Maroon 5 snuck some SpongeBob references in their hype video in the days prior:

#SBLIII pic.twitter.com/dWKJQDS9ap

— Maroon 5 (@maroon5) January 13, 2019

Not to mention Travis Scott's similarities to noted SpongeBob cult favorite DoodleBob:

So it was with a glimmer in my eye that I watched Pepsi intro the show. Maroon 5 lifelessly stumbled through "hits" from the early 00's and Adam Levine ditched an article of clothing per song to excite the crowd. Then the music cuts, and they go to the jumbotron. "This is it," I screamed to my friends, "SpongeBob is coming!" A bootleg, wonky-sketched version of Squidward popped on the screen, then the trumpets from the intro of Sweet Victory came on, and then Travis Scott came out of a meteor???

WHY. Why would you do just that part? I've never been so let down by a musical performance before. If you think this is enough, you're wrong. Sweet Victory is better than every Moron 5 (not a typo) song besides 'She Will Be Loved'. Side note; once my friends and I did an hour-and-a-half long workout and all agreed to only play 'She Will Be Loved' in our headphones. Surprisingly effective song to bench press to.

Back to how angry I am. The Travis Scott intro would have worked fine, had they come back to it. But instead, you left everyone wanting more. More Travis Scott, more Big Boi, more clothes for Adam Levine, but most importantly, MORE SPONGEBOB.