I'm an adult Disneyland fan and I won't take your abuse

Over the past few months, I've been seeing a trend on Twitter. Once or twice a week a tweet will come across my timeline that looks a little something like this:

Friendly reminder that adults that are obsessed with Disney and Disneyland are absolute weirdos and you cannot convince me otherwise

— kit kittredge (@prollynever) October 30, 2018

Whether it's a favorite from someone that I follow that pops up as a suggested tweet, or, in this case, one of my close friends (and editor of this blog) coming for adult Disneyland goers, it's gotten out of hand. So, as one of these Disney fans above 18, I decided to speak on it.

Everyone has their "thing". For a lot of millenials, it's music festivals. I'm very open with my hatred of EDM music, and the preposterous hellscape that is Burning Man or Coachella. I'll even take the occasional jab at MacBook DJ's on Twitter. I acknowledge that I'm in the minority on this being my thing, but it's not like I'm running around the park with glittery ears on like I'm in a commercial. Stroll in, get some drinks, wear a cool looking Disney T (nothing else), and enjoy. Check back soon for a breakdown of my usual activities in the park, but just know that most of them revolve around the alcohol, food, and not waiting in lines.

That’s the thing that I can't stand about the Disney-bashing -- all of the adults that go there get lumped together. We are not all the same. We dabble in some of the nerdier things there are to do, like pin collecting, but we aren't that into it. There are several sub-species of adult Disney fans that I don't fit into, and frankly roll my eyes at just as hard as you all do. They are as follows (google as you go):

• Disney-bounders: for obvious reasons, adults aren't allowed into the park in full costume. Most people say "Ok, I'll just wear a mickey shirt and call it good." Not these weirdos. There's an entire subculture called "Disney-bounding": people that meticulously put together outfits that make them resemble the character's outfits, but can't be called costumes. To these people, I say, calm down. Buy a shirt with your favorite character on it.

• Nightmare Before Christmas fans: I don't get the obsession with this movie. It is my opinion that if you were weird in high school you latched on to this, and just never grew out of it. There is always so much Jack Skellington merch around the park when I'm there, but nearly no representation of it in Disneyland (minus Haunted Mansion around Christmas). Why? Because it's weird, and it sucks. Come at me.
• The Gangs: Yes, there are gangs in Disneyland. Like the Sons of Anarchy, but dorkier, they trade pins in Frontierland, and they have turf disputes frequently. Main St. Elite, White Rabbits, Disney's Villains, and Walt's Most Wanted are just some of the "social clubs" that have claimed ground in the park. I'd make fun of these guys, but they're actually kind of scary and I think the jackets are pretty cool.
• Matching T-shirt families: You'll see large groups of people walking around the park in neon yellow shirts that someone's aunt made on her Cricket machine (like a 3d printer for the olds). They always have the Disney font on the front with "Matthews family trip 2018" on it. Just take a picture? You're never going to wear that shirt again. The argument to this would be so that if your group gets separated they know what they're looking for. Adults have cell phones, and if you lose your kid, just be a better parent? By the way, the worst one I've ever seen was a grown man in a shirt that simply said "Daddy Mouse" across the front of it. Aunt Karen has a kink, I guess.

• Matching T-shirt couples: This is the worst in my book. The shops around the park sell shirts that say "S/He's my Mickey/Minnie" or "I think he/she is Incredible" or "He/She is Mine". Why is this necessary? We get it, you broke up last week and the trip to Disneyland was your way to win her back. Way to go, Mickey.

• Dads in Grumpy T-Shirts:  Oh, do you not want to be here? Did your family buy you a Grumpy t-shirt because you're unpleasant to be around? Here's a tip, go to one of the golf courses around and stop ruining everyone else's time.
• People Who Get Engaged/Married in the Park: You are a cliche and have too much money.

So, before you take shots at Disneyland-goers for 6 cheap favorites on twitter, maybe take a trip down to Disney, get a little drunk, and count the matching shirts you see while you wait in line for Indiana Jones. You might change your mind a bit.